


Stalling Time

by turtleeden



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Spoilers for Christmas Eve, but if i'm gonna do christmas eve, i'm gonna go all the way, it always does, spoilers for december, this event hurts my feelings okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13932843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtleeden/pseuds/turtleeden
Summary: 12/24.  Upon meeting up with Sae and learning about the current dilemma the Phantom Thieves faced, Akira agrees to turn himself in order to protect his friends and add his testimony to the Shido case. Before he's able to do so, he gets a message from Ann asking to spend time together. Unable to go ahead to the police without seeing her one more time, he makes a request for a little more time.





	Stalling Time

How long had he been standing alone in the middle of the square before?

He had barely noticed it getting dark once things have returned to normal in Shibuya. Everywhere around him, people seemed to be on their phones with other people and walking briskly from left to right, going about their business. If he’d bother to pay attention, most of those people were couples enjoying the snowfall as they walked. The evening bustle of Christmas Eve is going in full swing all around him, and Akira hardly seemed to notice. Of course, shooting a false god in the face with your Persona would be very hard to top in terms of Christmas Events. But as exhilarating as that was, with all that has been dumped on his shoulders during the past hour, it became a small footnote to what he had to face now.

Morgana is gone. That alone took a huge blow on him.

Mementos is gone, and with it the last job for the Phantom Thieves is complete.

But most importantly, in order to save his friends and make sure that Masayoshi Shido actually goes down, Akira had to turn himself in. His testimony would no doubt strengthen the case Sae was building against him, but that would also mean there’s a straight trip to juvie waiting for him since his probation isn’t up. And who knows how long he was going to be locked up in there? There was no way that they were going to let a Phantom Thief go free that easily, much less be the hero. Not to mention that his last day in court didn’t do him any favors either, so he already wasn’t that optimistic about it anyway. He went from saving humanity’s free will to having over mere hours of freedom before it’s going to be taken away from him. 

This kneejerk in situations was almost laughable. He still can’t catch a break, can he?

...still. Better him than anyone else. If it would keep his friends safe, if it would keep them from going down with him, then he would take that chance gladly.

Resolute in his decision, Akira quietly follows Sae as they begin to walk together. But he couldn’t help but feel a pit of guilt in his heart. Everyone’s going to notice that he’s gone. He knew this. He’s practically going to disappear on them without so much as a word from him. His eyes narrowed as he imagined what their faces would be like in their worry, in their sadness and maybe a bit in their anger. Will they be angry at him for doing this without telling them? Probably. Definitely. But this was the only surefire way to save them all. He’ll handle it… no problem. _‘This will save them.’_ he reminds himself of this to try and put himself at ease. _‘I’m doing the right thing.’_ But try as he might, Akira still felt that guilt deep inside of him. Even so, he intended to push on.

As if to add salt to the wound, he felt his cellphone buzz in his pocket. Akira grimaced at the feeling. He just knew that it was one of his friends that was contacting him. He wasn’t looking forward to thinking of a way to turn whoever it was down so that he could just get this over with. He took his phone out of his pocket, checking to see who it was. When he reads the message over, he froze in his tracks. The guilt that he was feeling before just grew about ten times over, and he pales at the mere thought of her disappointed face.

He can’t turn her down.

He can’t.

“...Is something wrong?” Sae’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Akira meets her gaze.

“...I need a little more time.” he requested.

Sae looks upon him in silence, brows furrowed as if she was trying to figure out if he was changing his mind or not. He’s not. God no. He knew how important this was and he was serious about seeing it through. He’s not changing his mind about turning himself in… he just wants a few more hours.

 _“...please.”_ he spoke again. The word was barely a whisper when Akira said it, yet with his somber expression, it sounded heavier than the stark silence that was there before. Sae closed her eyes and sighed to herself before responding to his request.

“...Very well.” she relented. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t sympathetic to his plight. She’ll grant him a little more time to gather his bearings. After all, this decision wasn’t easy for anyone involved. “You can turn yourself in tomorrow morning.”

He was hoping for a few hours, but tomorrow morning? That was… more time than he expected. More than enough time. He’ll gladly take it and run. “That’s more than enough. Thank you.” he thanked, nodding. As Sae walks away and leaves him by himself once more, Akira responds to the message with haste and immediately starts walking towards another direction.

Akira walked briskly through Shibuya like a man running out of time. He weaves his way through the crowds of people as he made a beeline towards Shibuya Station, his hand clenching his phone tightly as he went. Time is something that he doesn’t have. If he doesn’t have much time, then he’ll stretch it for as long as he needed to. He would never live it down if he just left in the night without at least seeing her one more time. And when he catches the first glimpse of her twintails, he couldn’t help but quicken his pace.

“Ann!”

Ann’s head perked up at the sound of her name, and she turns around to see Akira running towards her. “Akira! Over here!” she called, waving her hand up in the air so that he could see where she was. Before she could say anything else though, she was immediately swept up in a tight hug when Akira drew close enough to her. Ann’s eyes widened in her surprise. Her body was slightly dipped low, with Akira’s body hunching over her as he held her tight. With how he ran up to her just now, he practically almost knocked her over! She didn’t expect him to be so excited about this get together of theirs. No… she had a feeling that _excitement_ wasn’t quite the right word. She couldn’t quite describe it, but Ann felt as though something was a little… off. 

Akira’s hold is strong as it always was, but Ann noticed that it felt a little... tight here. A little _too_ tight. His silence -- which was usually normal -- was _deafening_ , as if the air around him felt uncharacteristically heavy. And she could’ve sworn that she felt his arms shaking while he was holding her. _What’s the matter?_

“A-Akira… you’re killing me…!” she gasped.

Upon hearing her gasp, Akira immediately releases her from his hold. Ann straightened up her body before she felt his hands gently rest on her shoulders. “Sorry… you okay?” he asked, looking apologetic in more ways than one.

“I’m fine, but are _you_ okay?” Ann asked, gently resting her hands upon his arms. “...You were shaking.”

 _‘Shit. Making it too obvious, Akira.’_ he cursed in his head. He didn’t want Ann to panic or to end up worrying about him. Not now. Not tonight. With that in mind, he shook his head. “Still recovering, I guess.” he said. He wasn’t exactly lying when he said that. In a way, that was very true. “After all that’s happened today, I’m just… glad that I can see you. Right here.” _Before I go._

“...Yeah.” she agreed sadly, eyes averting to the ground for a moment. “That’s kind of why I wanted to see you tonight. I know the timing isn’t really the best, but… it’s still Christmas Eve, right? Times like these are when you can spend it with someone special. So… I wanted it to just be the two of us and actually end the day on a good note.”

Akira smiled at that. “Sounds like a good plan.” he replied. That, he can agree with. Akira then relaxes himself, with him letting go of Ann’s shoulders and allowing his hands to fall back to his sides. “You said something about dinner?”

Ann nodded. “Yeah! I’d thought it’d be a good idea. The restaurants are probably really crowded, but maybe we can still find a place to eat without a reservation.”

“You know I can just cook for the both of us at Leblanc, right?” he asked. They were going to head to his room afterwards anyway, so that would kill two birds with one stone.

“You, mister, have done enough for tonight!” Ann declared. Akira couldn’t help but laugh at that, but Ann continued on. “Really though. It’s not everyday that you save the world, you know? And you do so much for all of us already... Let me at least treat you once in a while, okay?”

Akira smiled warmly at her, before he leaned down to plant a kiss on her forehead. _‘I’m gonna miss that heart of yours.’_ he couldn’t help but think to himself. “Alright, I give. You win.” he relented.

“Yes!” she cheered. Without delay, Ann takes hold of his hand and points towards the direction of Central Street. “Then let’s go! Maybe the diner still has a few spots open, for starters!”

“I’m right beside you.” Akira said, giving her hand a light squeeze. “Lead the way, Ann.”

Ann smiled brightly at him before she took the lead to head down Central Street. That smile, the same smile that never failed to make Akira feel warm inside, now also felt like a knife stabbing him in the heart. Because he knew that after tonight, he wasn’t going to be able to see it again. And not to mention the guilt. Oh, the guilt he was feeling was _really_ strong right now. It was soul-crushing... but he was determined not to let it show. Even as they walk past the long lines of couples waiting to get inside the stores, Akira remained as calm as he normally did. Honestly, that calm composure of his never felt more like a mask than it did right now.

 _‘I should tell her.’_ he thought to himself.

The two of them made the first stop to the diner that they usually stop at whenever they wanted to go somewhere quiet. Unfortunately, the place looked busy. _Really busy._ Even in their busiest days, the place never seemed to have a freaking line that seemed to stretch all the way to the bookstore! ( _Maybe it really didn’t, but with the huge crowd of people standing on that side of the street, it sure looked that way._ ) Ann and Akira winced at the sight.

“Holy… it’s _that_ popular right now!?” she exclaimed in disbelief.

“Hey, it’s alright. Let’s try and find another place.” he encouraged her.

“Hm… well, there should be another one close by. Let’s try that one.”

They walked further down Central Street. The Christmas lights that adorned the buildings seemed to light up the way for them, and the snow falling from the sky made for quite the romantic setting. It would be so easy to just take it all in and get swept up in the atmosphere. Even so, they were met with a similar result that they were met with before; a cafe filled to the brim with people, with a long line of couples just waiting to get inside. Once again, Ann winced.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…” she groaned. Ann could sense that her patience was going to run thin fast. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea she’s ever had.

“It’s okay.” Akira assured.

“No, it’s not. I just want to make this special...” Ann replied, frowning. Her eyes narrowed as she huffed, a determined look settling into her features. “Alright, that’s it! Mark my words I’m gonna find us a place to eat, Akira! Count on it!”

Akira only smiled in response. “You can do it, Ann.” he replied. Though he knew by now that finding a place to sit down and eat was going to be impossible, just by looking at how crowded the large and the small restaurants looked tonight. Even the beef bowl shop looked filled to the brim when they passed it! ( _He pitied the poor lonely sap who was currently working there tonight. Akira knew that pain well._ ) Honestly, he didn’t really care if they actually found a place to sit down and eat or not, but he knew better than to dash Ann’s stubborn hopes when she gets fired up like this. Besides… he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. He didn’t care what they did, so long as he was with her.

 _‘I should tell her.’_ The thought crosses his mind again as he walked the snowy streets.

The two of them roamed the streets of Shibuya for some time. Each stop that Ann tried to make ended up the same as the previous stops before it; a full house with a long line of couples emerging from it. Stubborn as she was, she kept on trying out ideas on every little cafe or street stand that she could think of. Alas, even the little shops in the Underground Mall wasn’t exempt from this trend. Those were crowded as hell too. Somehow the young couples all around them made Shibuya even more crowded than it was normally was, if _that_ was even possible. 

Eventually the two of them ended up back where they started; standing in front of Shibuya Station. Ann groaned in defeat, shaking her head as she facepalmed in her frustration.

“I give up…” she sighed, clearly disappointed in herself. “This sucks.”

Akira didn’t say anything, with him only taking a moment to just look up at the sky. The snow was gently falling from the evening sky without a care in the world, and it felt so peaceful. Slowly his focus switches down from the sky to what was ahead of him, and he could see and feel a different vibe from Shibuya itself. He could actually see couples -- young and old -- just walking and talking with each other and be swept up in the atmosphere of the city. The multiple lights stemming from the different shops and buildings made Shibuya light up in the night. It made everything… soft and romantic. He has never seen Shibuya like this before. It was kind of amazing to him how different the vibe was from the Shibuya he had grown used to.

He looks over to Ann, seeing her brows knitted in a frown as she folds her arms in her displeasure. He knows that she’s disappointed that she couldn’t find a place for the two of them to sit down and eat, and yet he couldn’t help but smile when he looked at her. His expression softens as he leans in closer, ready to grab her attention.

“Hey.”

Ann turns her head towards his direction only to be met with Akira’s face only inches away from hers. Her frown eases as he drew close with a kiss upon her lips. The kiss itself was brief, but it did manage to make Ann smile when they drew away.

“Trying to cheer me up?” she asked, giggling a little.

“Maybe. Is it working?” Akira replied, pulling her into his arms.

“Maybe...” Ann responded, mimicking his cheeky tone. She then wraps her arms around him, her smile growing bigger as she did so. “You know… there isn’t any mistletoe around here.”

“Like I need an excuse to kiss you.” he laughed.

“Oh, yeah?” Ann challenged, raising a brow at him with a playful quirk on her lips. She moves forward slightly, pressing her body against his as her arms gave him a light squeeze. Ann’s focus remains solely on him, and she keeps her smile. “...Then do it again.”

No need to tell him twice.

Akira dipped his head down with a grin on his face, meeting Ann halfway as their lips met in a sweeter kiss than the last. This one lasted much longer, and for once they allowed themselves to be completely absorbed in the moment. For Akira in particular, it felt like pure bliss. This was all he wanted to do before he had to turn himself in. He only wanted a few more hours to hold Ann in his arms one more time. And as they stood there in Shibuya Station kissing under the snowfall on Christmas Eve, it became a memory that Akira felt he could take with him. It was blissful, and yet bittersweet at the same time. He knew that he wasn’t going to have a moment like this again after tomorrow, so he cherished it while he still could.

 _‘I’m gonna miss you.’_ he couldn’t help but think to himself.

They eventually part, gingerly pressing their foreheads together as they had content smiles on their faces and giggled to themselves. A quick glance at a nearby clock made Akira be the one to reluctantly pull away. _Time’s running out._ Keeping his smile, he takes Ann by the hand and gestures his head towards the station.

“C’mon, I know a place where we can go.” he said, knowing very well that the both of them knew he was referring to Leblanc.

“There’s not gonna be a huge line, is there?” Ann questioned playfully. Though she was still a little salty that her plan didn’t work out, she can still play along.

“It’ll be the emptiest place in all of Tokyo.” he replied. Ann stiffed a laugh then. 

“I’m not gonna tell Boss that you said that.” she said, closing an eye. Akira grinned as he put a finger to his lips, causing Ann to laugh at him again. With that, the two of them finally turned towards the station, heading towards the transfer to Yongen-Jaya.

The train ride to Yongen-Jaya was noticeably a lot emptier compared to the lively bustle in Shibuya. It was easier now for Akira and Ann to find seats next to each other than it would’ve been on a normal day. ( _The sight was admittedly a little odd to them, but definitely welcome._ ) Most of the people that were there on the train were notably -- once again -- couples. That wasn’t lost on Ann, who was resting her head on Akira’s shoulder throughout the ride as she watched them. Akira himself paid no mind. Instead, he was lost in his own thoughts.

 _‘I really should tell Ann what I’m going to do.’_ he pondered to himself. _‘But at the same time, I don’t want her to panic… I don’t want her to worry about me. Not now. Not after what we’ve been through today… We’ve already lost Morgana… what would she do if she knew I was going away too?’_ Idly, he peeks over to see Ann from the corner of his eye, and sighs softly to himself.

 _‘I know her. She’ll get mad... but most of all, she’ll want to fight it. She’ll fight this with everything she has and think of another way to do this. Everyone else will do the same too, but Ann… she’s gonna be loud and stubborn about it. I know she is. I wish there was another way to do this, but there isn’t one… this is the best option to keep her and everyone else safe… still…’_ His lips thin at his conflicting thoughts, and his brows furrowed in a frown as he mulls over the matter to himself.

 _‘...she deserves to know. I don’t want her to think that I don’t trust her or anything by keeping this from her. I do trust her. I trust her with my life… and I love her. I love her with all of my heart… so what the hell is keeping me from telling her something like this? What’s stopping me from being honest?’_ Akira’s expression fell then, having a solemn look to his eye. He keeps quiet, so as to not disturb Ann or to cause her to notice his inner dilemma. Still, he felt like ramming his head against a wall as he thought bitterly to himself.

_‘Guess time’s not the only thing that I’m trying to stall, huh…?’_

“Akira?”

Akira snapped out of his thoughts upon hearing his name, and he turns his head towards Ann. Her brows crease as she looked upon him with slight concern on her face. “You okay? You were spacing out.” she asked.

“Huh? Y-Yeah, I’m fine.” he assured, rubbing his neck idly.

“....” Ann stared at him for a moment, looking as though she wanted to say something. She then shook her head as if to leave well enough alone for now. Akira felt a cold sweat running down the back of his neck just then. _Was it getting too obvious now?_ Ann then stood up from her seat and held out her hand to him, her expression easing into something that was more relaxed. “Well, I was going to tell you this is our stop. Wouldn’t want us to miss it.”

Akira chuckled weakly before taking her hand and standing up himself. “No, I guess not. Let’s go.” he replied. 

The two of them walked out of the station and headed straight down the street towards Leblanc. From a distance, Akira could see that the lights were off in the cafe. That told him that the cafe was closed before they even got to the front door to see the “Closed” sign. “I guess Sojiro must’ve closed early.” he mused to himself, digging into his pocket to find the keys so that he could unlock the door. Once he did find them and unlocked the door, he held it out for Ann to come in first before he followed suit and closed the door behind him.

Emptiest place in Tokyo indeed. Akira didn’t even see Sojiro himself anywhere in the shop. It was just the two of them there.

Ann dusted off her jacket sleeves with her hand for a moment and sighed to herself, still disappointed about her date failure. “...No matter where you look, it’s all couples.” she sighed. Thinking back to how they literally went all around Shibuya and remembering those long lines made her wince all over again, and she turns to Akira with intentions to apologize. 

“Ugh, I really messed up… I thought we’d be able to eat somewhere without a reservation.” It definitely wasn’t her brightest moment, that’s for sure. And Ann knew it. She sighed sadly to herself again, her lips twisting into a small pout. “And this was supposed to be our chance to spend Christmas Eve together…” she lamented.

Akira stiffed a laugh then. “You’re still stuck on that? Don’t worry about it, Ann.” he said, chuckling to himself a little. Of all things to be worried about… that was the farthest thing from his mind. “Besides… _you’re all I need._ ”

Ann was fighting back a full-blown smile then. She’s still disappointed, but… curse his way with words! Leave it to Akira to find a way to be a little smooth. “...Oh, you.” she sighed, giggling a little. 

Akira flashes a grin back at her and starts to guide her towards his room. If the winter air made the main cafe a little chilly, then he can bet that the attic was definitely colder. Once they got up there, Akira made sure to turn the heater on so that Ann wouldn’t get too cold. The two of them took a seat on the couch and got comfortable. Besides the fact that it was Christmas Eve… it really didn’t feel all that different from when they were alone together in his room before.

“So… what are we supposed to do on Christmas Eve?” Ann asked. This _would_ be the first Christmas that she would spend with a boy, after all. She didn’t even know where to start. “Go out? Eat dinner together? If we were both adults… get drunk together? I just don’t know…”

Akira didn’t really know what he’s supposed to do either. If he wasn’t pressed for time, then maybe he would’ve had a little more of an idea about what to do for a night like this. No doubt he would’ve wanted to make the night special for the two of them. _‘I still have a little time.’_ he assured himself. He then relaxes, easing himself more into his seat, and flashes Ann another smile. “The night’s still young.” he replied.

Ann bursted out laughing at him. “You sound like a sleazy old man!” she exclaimed.

“Oh?” Akira’s grin grows wider as he playfully slings an arm around Ann’s shoulder. “Well, little lady… lemme tell about the dates I’ve been on back in my day…” he crooned, mimicking a voice that was supposed to sound similar to Sojiro’s.

“Oh my god... Akira, no!” Ann cried, laughing even harder than she did before.

“Now, I was nothin’ to sneeze at back then. I was quite the ladies man in my youth! The nights were young, the ladies were so fine and good-lookin’...”

“Nooooooo!”

“I remember this one girl when I was young… Hoo boy, was she finer than wine!”

“Akiraaaaa!”

“But maaaaan, I’ve gotta admit… you sure give them a run for their money. Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?”

“S-Stop it! Oh my god! Akira, I-I can’t take it…! You’re so cheesy, I swear!”

Akira smiled as he watched her laugh. Ann was leaning into his body as she laughed her head off, with little tears beading from the corner of her eyes. He opted to show mercy on his sleazy old man act and just leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. He may not be able to do much with the little time he had left, but at least he could make her laugh.

For a while, Akira and Ann just spent the night talking to each other. No topic was off limits to them. They talked about Morgana. They talked about how Akira had a Persona that literally shot a god in the face. They talked about what they thought the others were doing tonight right about now. They talked about how they would spend Christmas Eve before, and whether or not it was a big deal at their homes. ( _Akira’s was never that eventful. And Ann had her moments when her parents were there with her._ ) Whenever they would run a ground on one subject, Akira would be the one to pick up the conversation with another. 

He was stretching time with anything that he could use and anything that he could say. When Ann has to go home… that was it. His time would be up.

Eventually, Ann digs into the inside of her jacket pocket and takes something out for Akira to take. “...Oh yeah, I got you something.” she said, putting it into his hands.

“...For me?” Akira asked, looking quite surprised at the Christmas present Ann got for him. Sure, he got one for her too. It’s been sitting there hidden within his work desk for the past week or so, but he didn’t quite expect to actually get a present today. It made him smile. Akira took the time to straighten the present out and saw that it was… earmuffs! Folded black earmuffs that seemed to blend in a little _too well_ with his dark hair. Still, it was definitely his style. And would probably be a godsend for his easily reddened ears. ( _Oh god, was that why…!?_ )

“Surprise!” Ann cheered with a smile. Seeing the look on his face made her a little proud of herself. _Worth it!_ “You totally weren’t expecting that, now were you?”

“Not at all.” Akira admitted, folding his present back into its previous state. “...Thanks.”

Ann giggled at that. “Take good care of it.”

Akira kept his smile as he stood up from his spot, ready to put his new present away for safekeeping. “Hold on, let me just…” he trailed off, walking to his desk to put the earmuffs down, and also take out the present that he had gotten for her. But before he could reach down to the drawer it was in, Ann started to speak again.

“Hey, I know this is sudden…” she began.

Oh no. That did _not_ sound good. 

Her words made Akira pause, and he looks back at her with a quirked brow. Something told him to go back to his spot on the couch, so he straightened up, put his earmuffs neatly on top of the desk, and walked back to the couch to sit next to her. “What is it?” he asked cautiously.

Ann pressed her lips together in a thin line before she shook her head, pushing herself to continue on. “...The whole Shido incident has been on the news every day, right? I’m a little worried…” she admitted, frowning a little to herself. “If the police found out about the Phantom Thieves…”

 _‘...Shit.’_ Akira cursed in his head. His expression turned serious, but it didn’t falter just yet. He opted to just stay silent, and listened to what Ann had to say.

“It’s not that I’m afraid of getting caught,” Ann continued. Well, a part of her _was_ afraid if she were to be completely honest. She would be foolish if she really wasn’t. But there was one thing that she was more afraid of than that, and she admits it to him. “I lie awake at night thinking about what I’d do if I couldn’t see you anymore.”

...shit.

_Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit --_

Why did she have to say that?

Why?

The guilt that plagued Akira all night since he agreed to turn himself in comes crashing down on him at full force. His expression finally fell into something that was more solemn, and Akira felt his heart ache. He bowed his head down, eyes averting to the wooden floor in shame. Damn it… the whole point of doing this was to protect everyone, and yet he’s going to make one of Ann’s fears come true at the same time. And she doesn’t even know why it’s going to happen yet. No… no, she doesn’t deserve that. None of them do.

_‘I have to tell her. Now.’_

Ann looks over at Akira and noticed that his energy changed completely. “Hm? What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned. The heavy air that she felt when she met up with him was back again. No… the last time felt more fleeting than this in comparison. Ann could sense that this felt more serious, and it made her worry for him. Akira shook his head sadly and sighed.

“...I’m sorry.” The words were barely a whisper when he said it.

“...For what?” she asked.

 _‘For keeping something this huge from you,’_ he thought to himself, thinking of the words he wanted to say. _‘For leaving you just like you feared. For being a goddamn coward by not telling you. For making you worry about me. I’m sorry, Ann. I’m sorry.’_ All of the things that he wanted to say and admit to her, and this time was the one time that he couldn’t do it. The words wouldn’t come out. As loud as the thoughts in his head were, outside he just stayed silent and looked down on the ground.

“...”

That told Ann all she needed to know. Whatever that Akira knew that was bothering him this bad, he was keeping it from her. She stared at him for a while, waiting for him to speak and open up to her like he usually did. _‘Talk to me.’_ her eyes seemed to plead. _‘Tell me what’s wrong.’_ But Akira didn’t say anything. When it was clear to her that he wasn’t going to say anything more, Ann averted her eyes from him, defeated. The heavy air beats down on her as she looks at Akira one more time, and she shakes her head.

“Sorry, I’m really ruining the mood...” she apologized half-heartedly. Even though she had no reason to apologize… _she_ wasn’t the one that was ruining the mood by keeping important matters from her, after all. “...I think I’m just gonna go home.”

That got Akira to immediately lift his head back up and shake his head vigorously. “I’ll walk you back.” he offered. _Don’t leave me. Not yet._

“No. I’ll be okay.” Ann assured. She stood up from the couch, adjusted her things, and moved to go down the stairs. Akira felt helpless as he watched her getting ready to leave, but then she suddenly stops walking and pauses.

“...You’re hiding something from me... aren’t you?”

Akira’s eyes widened as he heard that. _She knew._ He immediately stood up from his spot, looking very guilty as hell as he stares at her back. If he was going to say something, this was his last chance to do so. “Ann, I --” he began, his voice sounding more cracked than he would like. Try as he might to explain, but nothing else came to him. It was a mercy more than what he deserved that he couldn’t see Ann’s face fall in her sadness as she looked at him from the corner of her eye.

“I wish you had just told me…” she said sadly. If nothing else, that one sentence was a huge punch to the gut. “Goodnight.”

Akira was left alone with a heavy silence of his own making as he watched Ann go. He could’ve ran after her and tried to explain himself, but he couldn’t find it in him to move. He couldn’t even say ‘Goodnight’ back… How pathetic… what did that make him, in the end? Akira clenched his teeth as his eyes fell to the floor once more, completely ashamed of himself. He knew that this was the only way, but why couldn’t he just… tell her? Now he’s made her worried… and above all else, disappointed in him. He could hear it in her voice. He sank back down on the couch, pressing his shaking hand over his eyes.

“Damn me… I am such a goddamn idiot…” he cursed at himself, dragging his palm down his face. “I didn’t want to leave it like this...” 

But he did. It was completely his fault, and now he’s got to live with that. 

Akira remained there in his room for some time, unmoving in his spot as he broods to himself in his silence. He has now officially run out of time… and he hasn’t even given his Christmas present to her...

“Akira!”

Akira recognized Sojiro’s voice ringing from downstairs, but he didn’t make a move to acknowledge him. Even as he heard Sojiro’s footsteps coming up the stairs, he didn’t move from his spot. When Sojiro met up with him face to face, all Akira did was stare blankly ahead into space, completely silent.

“Hey, I just came to check if you made it back in one piece… but I saw Ann-chan on the way here.” he said. Sojiro sees Akira flinch at the mention of her and notes it to himself mentally, before continuing on. “She looked pretty upset… I asked if there was something wrong, but she didn’t say anything about it. She just said… ‘Ask him.’ Sounded just as upset as she looked.” 

Akira flinched again, this time he was more visibly upset with himself. Still, he doesn’t say anything. When there was no answer coming from Akira, Sojiro decided to cut straight to the point. “Normally I don’t butt in the middle of a lover’s quarrel, especially one with teenagers. But I get the feeling that this is something more complicated than that. So, mind tell me what’s going on? What did you do?”

Akira looked up at Sojiro with a solemn look on his face and sighed, completely defeated. Regardless of his current feelings, he couldn’t keep this to himself anymore. He never should tried to do so in the first place. If he wanted to tell someone about this… Sojiro was a good starting point as anyone. 

“...it’s what I’m about to do.” he began to explain.

\-----

She knew that something felt off about Akira last night.

And considering what she knew now, all of it now made sense.

As she sat among her friends in Leblanc all day trying to discuss what they could go to help clear Akira’s name and get him out of juvenile hall, Ann’s mind occasionally goes back to last night and revisits all of the signs that were there. Akira was planning to turn himself in even before he met up with her that night… it had to be after everyone went their separate ways when Shibuya turned back to normal. If Ann thought about it like that… everything made sense to her now.

That’s why he was shaking when he ran up and hugged her.

That’s why he was spacing out on the train before.

That’s why he said ‘I’m sorry’ with that sad look on his face.

He was planning on turning himself in… that was why. 

_‘Why didn’t you just tell me, Akira?’_ she thought to herself. Here she thought he could lean on her if he ever needed to, did he not think that he could count on her with this? If he had told her… she would’ve… _she would’ve..._

Well, if Ann were to be honest with herself, she didn’t know what she would have done if he had told her. She probably wouldn’t have accepted it then, just as she didn’t accept it now. She didn’t want to just sit idly by and let Akira take the fall for something that he didn’t even do. She would never accept that outcome, even if she didn’t know where to start in order to help him. Maybe she would still be upset if he had told her… but that would definitely beat having this helpless feeling in her heart when she was left in the dark.

 _‘What can I do…?’_ The question runs through her mind throughout the day. No doubt it was on everyone else’s mind too.

Everyone stayed in Leblanc until night fell, forcing them to break for the day and go back home. They didn’t have a solid plan to save Akira as of yet, but at the very least they had brainstormed several ideas in mind once they’ve calmed down and thought about it. Makoto proposed that they meet back in Leblanc in the morning, and everyone unanimously agreed with the idea. If Sojiro couldn’t afford to close the cafe early, then they could just as easily gather in Akira’s room like they did before.

It was a work in progress.

Ann was one of the last ones to leave the cafe. As she gathered her things, she couldn’t help but reflect back to yesterday’s events all over again as she glanced over at the stairs. She quietly sighed to herself. How can a place feel more… empty when Akira wasn’t here?

“Ann-chan.”

Ann’s head perked as she heard her name, and she turns to see Sojiro at the counter with a small box in front of him. “Oh, Boss… what is it?” she asked curiously.

Sojiro rubbed the back of his neck before he handed out something to her. “Akira, he… he wanted me to give these to you.” he explained.

“...really?” she asked. Immediately, she walked to the counter and took the box from Sojiro’s hands, thanking him before she looked it over. In her hands was a small, white box that was small enough to fit in her pocket. Attached to the bottom of it was a letter with her name on it. Ann bit her lip lightly as emotions swelled within her, eager to open up the contents.

“U-Uh, Boss? You mind if I…?” she asked, looking back towards the stairs to the attic. If this was a letter from Akira to her, then she wanted to have a little privacy.

Sojiro shook his head in response. “Take all the time you need.” he said.

Ann flashed a weak smile as she bowed her head in thanks. She then turns on her heel and heads up the stairs with the box and the letter in tow. Everything looked the same as it did yesterday, but Ann couldn’t help but feel that… empty feeling again when she walks back up the stairs and ends up in his room. It only makes the fact that Akira wasn’t here all the more real.

She takes a moment to just look around the attic, trying to find any differences from today and last night. The attic was as neat as it always was… or at least, as clean as an attic could be. The decorations that he had up in his room were still kept nice and neat… even his bed looked untouched. The only thing of note that Ann could notice was the crumbled piles of paper crowding around the small trash bin he kept near his desk.

“That wasn’t there before, was it?” she questioned to herself. She wasn’t entirely sure herself, but she knew that between the two of them, Akira was definitely the cleaner one. Then a thought hit her, and Ann found herself looking back and forth from the trash bin full of paper to the folded letter that was in her hands. _Maybe…?_ Ann then walked over to the couch and sat in the same spot she was in last night, and opened up the letter. She took a deep breath to calm her swelling heart, and began to read it to herself:

_“Ann,_

_By the time you read this, Sojiro probably already told you and everyone else what happened. There’s little else that I could add that you probably don’t already know by now, other than that was what I was hiding from you last night… but you knew that too, didn’t you?_

_Ann… I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry that I kept something so important from you. I know that I should’ve told you the moment that I met up with you at the station. The truth is… I was supposed to turn myself in that night. I was going to head to the police station with Niijima-san and do it then. But then I got your message on the way there, and… I just couldn’t go without seeing you one more time. I asked Niijima-san to give me a little more time, just so I could meet up with you. I was expecting a few hours, but she gave me until morning._

_Do you remember when you said that you wanted to end the day on a good note? I wanted that too. I wanted to give you a worry-free night and just spend Christmas Eve together. I wanted us to have a good time and just enjoy ourselves one more time. Sure, it didn’t really go as planned… but I had fun. All I wanted that night was to be with you… but I was selfish._

_I was selfish in thinking I could protect you from worrying when I was really just prolonging the inevitable. I didn’t want to add to your worries when we already won and lost so much in one day… and now… I can’t even begin to imagine how much I hurt you by not telling you when you of all people deserved to know the truth. I really screwed up… and that’s on me. I made you think that I couldn’t trust you with something so important, even though you’re one of the people that I trust the most. I hope that someday, you could forgive me for that._

_I had a Christmas present for you, too. I wanted to give it to you last night after you gave me yours, but… that happened. Hopefully Sojiro can give it to you in my place… I hope you like it._

_...I don’t know how long I’m going to be locked up, or how long this case with Shido is going to last. Niijima-san is going to do everything in her power to see this through, and I intend to help make that happen. If that means turning myself in to protect all of you, then I’d do it in a heartbeat. I just wish that I wasn’t stupid enough to hurt the one I love before I did it. I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me right now. But, Ann? Just… take care of yourself, okay?_

_I love you… and I’ll miss you.”_

Ann was trying so hard not to cry as she read the letter. She was trying so hard to hold back her tears. But by the time she got to the end, her tears were already staining the paper in her hands as she tries to hold back in vain. Ann pressed Akira’s letter close to her heart, crumpling it in her shaking hands as she finally allowed herself to cry. She sat there alone in his room crying for some time, hunched over with her face buried in her hands. She’s not even bothering to hold herself back anymore. There was no need.

“...Akira, you stupid moron… Like I could ever hate you…” she choked out through her tears. She never could hate him. She’s mad as hell at him right now for not telling her he was going to do this, but she could never hate him. She loved him too much.

Eventually she slowly sits up and leans her back against the couch, her watery eyes falling down towards the unopened box on her lap. His Christmas present… Ann picks up the little box and opens it, revealing a beautiful little necklace inside. The chain was a simple gold, but the real attention grabber was the jeweled red heart attached to it. “...When did he…?” she couldn’t help but wonder to herself. Did he get this a few days ago? Or… did he get it when he was still lying low? Ann lightly traced around the shape of the heart and formed a sad smile. Regardless of when or how Akira got this for her… it was beautiful.

When she eventually stops crying, Ann starts to wipe away her tears with her jacket sleeves. She sniffs a bit, then takes a breath to calm herself down. The feeling that settles within her now wasn’t a heavy emptiness, but an added determination to the resolve she already had. She looks down upon the letter once more and made a firm nod to herself, resolute in her thoughts.

“I’m gonna find a way, Akira. This time, It’s my turn to save you.”

Ann then folds the crumpled letter up as best as she could before she puts it in her pocket. She then brings her Christmas present up to her, pressing a brief kiss on the heart as if she was making a promise to herself. She closes the box and puts it in her pocket. Ann finally stands up from the couch with a determined spark in her eyes, and starts to head down the stairs. She waves goodnight to Sojiro as she leaves, heading home for the night. She had to make it back here in the morning to meet up with the others, after all.

_‘We’re gonna get you back. Count on it.’_


End file.
